Why Wedding Dresses Are White

A son asked his mother the following question: "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"

The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure." The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.

"Dad why are wedding dresses white?" The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."

Never Did Anything Wild

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes.We decided to grab a bite at the food court.I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours: green, red,orange and blue.

My dad kept staring at him.The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked,"What's the matter, old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one - and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response. "Yes I did. Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

The MBBS Dictionary of a different kind

1) Antibody - Against everybody
2) Artery - The study of fine paintings
3) Bacteria - Back door to a cafeteria
4) Bowel - Letters like a,e,I,o,u
5) Caesarian Section - A district in Rome
6) Cardiology - Advanced study of Poker playing
7) Cat Scan - Searching for lost kitty
8) Coma - Punctuation mark Yaar, Simple!
9) Cyst - A short for sister
10) Diagnosis - Person with slanted nose
11) Dilate - The late British Princess Diana
12) Enema - Not a friend
13) False Labor - Pretending to work
14) Genes - Blue denim
15) Hernia - She is close by
16) Hymen - Greeting to several males
17) Impotent - distinguished / well-known
18) Labor Pain - Hurt at work
19) Menopause - Men no wait
20) Microbes - Small dressing gowns
21) Obesity - City of Obe
22) Pacemaker - Winner of Nobel Peace Prize
23) Protein - in favor of teens
24) Pulse – Grain
25) Pus - Small cat
26) Red Blood Count – Dracula
27) Secretion – Hiding anything
28) Tablet - Small table
29) Urine - Opposite of you are out
30) Varicose - Very close

The Italian Job

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you".

The husband laughs and says: An Italian girl.

The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up at the airport and asks:"So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you.""And, what happened to my present?"

"Which present?" She asked.The one I asked for - an Italian girl "Oh, that" she said "Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl!!!"

Moral of the story: Don't tempt a woman, they are dangerous